Weird & Funny Phone Numbers

Life can get boring sometimes, we all know that. Which is why it’s the small, silly things that we must enjoy and appreciate. Silly things like weird, funny phone numbers with weird, funny voicemails. Some meant to sugar the blow, others to prank the people we love (and hate), and others to hopefully end creepy stalker vibes. Looking for a number to create a serious reaction? We’ve got all the details; get ready to pick your poison!

But First, How Do These Numbers Exist?

Before divulging into the awesomeness that is prank hotline numbers, let’s take a moment to understand how they exist. You purchase a virtual number from a cloud-based phone solutions provider, like GlobalCallForwarding. Record and add your custom voicemail greeting in there and then pass the hotline number along.

Another way to do it is to use vanity numbers. These numbers use repetitions or letters to be memorable or spell out a word. Such numbers not only add a personal touch, but also create funny phone numbers that can have a lasting impression. A lot of businesses have vanity numbers that are actually 1800 toll free numbers such as:

  • 1-800-GO-FEDEX for FedEx customer support
  • 800-GIANT-MEN, a moving company
  • 1-800-GOT-JUNK, a junk removal company
  • 1-800-HURT-NOW, personal injury attorney network
  • 800-DOG-POOP, a pooper scooper service

Now, for the Funny Phone Numbers Part

So, what do you need: To break bad news to someone? To make a pact with Santa? To find out what actually happened to Hopper in season 3 of Stranger Things? Give these funny phone numbers a try and have a happy day!

Admissions Office at Hogwarts: 605–475–6961

Potterheads, alert! Has it been your dream to enroll in Hogwarts and not just ride the ride at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter? Call now to get information about how to navigate to platform 9¾ with other admission details. Muggles, this is not for you.

Santa: 951–262–3062

Can’t wait till December to see what Santa brings you this year? Call Father Christmas any time of the year to hear a merry message and get a dose of that Christmas cheer.

It Could Always Suck More: 605–475–6964

Think you’re having a bad day? Call the ‘It Could Always Suck More’ hotline that will lift your spirits (or maybe make it worse?) by telling you how it could always suck more. There’s some comfort in that, right?

Murray Bauman: 618–625–8313

Still got that Stranger Things season 3 ending on your mind? Maybe Murray Bauman has the answer? Call him up and find out what message he has for Joyce Byers.

Rejection Hotline: 605–475–6968

Got someone creepy asking for your number over and over and OVER again? Here’s a number that may help to set them straight. Save it for a creepy night.

Better Call Saul: 505–503–4455 

Need a lawyer with the best free advice? Call Saul Goodman and Associates. They won’t rest till your case is closed. You’re in safe hands now.

Bad Breath Hotline: 605–475–6959

Having a tough time telling your coworker that they have bad breath? It’s never easy to point these things out. So, instead, leave a note with the Bad Breath Hotline number and hope they get the hint.

Keep an Idiot Entertained Hotline: 605–475–6962

Want to make a funny jab at your annoying cousin? Have them dial this hotline that effectively targets their intellectual levels. But be careful, it may seem harsh for some. (Truth hurts, doesn’t it?) It’s all in good humor after all!

Callin’ Oates: 719–26–OATES

Need some Hall and Oates in your life but can’t get access to the right music? Call the Emergency Hall and Oates Hotline and choose which of the following songs you want to hear: One-on-one, Maneater, Rich Girl, and Private Eyes.

Sobriety Test Hotline: 605–475–6958 

Can’t tell if you are drunk or sober? (That should be a hint in itself.) But you can always enlist the help of the Sobriety Test hotline and their set of highly scientific questions to know for sure. 

Stop Complaining: 605–475–6973

Do you know someone who is perpetually complaining about their first-world problems? Whining and groaning, inconsiderately? Do you know someone who desperately needs some perspective in life? This hotline might be the one for you.

Author Bio: Meryl D’Sa writes and reads about literature, travel, communications, history, and relationships.


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