There is truly nothing (and I mean nothing) worse than hearing the grinding gears of a garbage truck just as you were about to drift off into a deep sleep. With the screech of the truck’s breaks, your fate is officially sealed: You will now be up for the rest of the night unable to stop listening to the soundtrack of your street (accelerating motors, car alarms, incessant neighborly chatter).
So. many. ughs.
But what if I told you there’s a machine so magical, so revolutionary that it can not just save you but prevent you from being trapped in this terrible sleepless situation? Well, according to over 5,300 positive Amazon reviews, such amazingness really does exist, and it goes by the name of LectroFan High Fidelity White Noise Sound Machine.
Although tiny in size, it comes packed with tons of sound possibilities—20 to be exact, 10 of which are fan sounds, while the other half are different ambient noise variations, including white, pink, and brown noises. Its large, upward-facing speaker guarantees your ears will fill with your sound of choice no matter how loud your next-door neighbor insists on playing Lizzo at 3 a.m.
Don’t believe me? Take it from this one very passionate purchaser: “[The LectroFan] stopped me from causing bodily harm to my neighbor.” Yes, apparently, this white noise machine is so powerful that it “COMPLETELY” covered the noise of said neighbor’s early morning habit of shoveling gravel with a metal shovel.
Available for $50, the compact creation also stands out for being entirely electric, which is different from the many machines on the market that are apparently just a fan in a box. (Who knew?🤷🏼♀️)
It also wins points for its easy-to-use volume control. So if you just need a bit of help drowning out your, say, colleagues, you can set the, in another customer’s words, “little cone of silence” to a low lull that will help you focus without distracting Debra in the next cubicle.
And now, to bring it all home, please turn your attention to this very pleased customer’s story:
“Moved into brand spanking new office space that is so quiet you can hear every flatulence, chip crunch, carrot bite, soup slurp, (boorish) conversation, whisper or otherwise, every phone call (if I concentrate hard enough, both sides), keyboard click, mouse movement, tummy rumble, foot step (nicknamed a couple new clod hoppers), sniff, sneeze, coffee slurp, burp, soda can opening, staple punch, paper printed, knuckle cracking annoyance from every inch of the 4000 square foot expedient path to nightmarish hell …
Then the LectroFan arrived.
Will to live returned.
Murderous thoughts dissipated.
Does exactly as is says on the tin.
You should buy it. You should buy two.
Countless co-workers owe you their lives.
In other words: They lived happily ever after and it’s all thanks to the LectroFan. The end.